Week in headlines: Chelsea’s Ashley Cole is gun and dumber, Rooney gets a-Wayne with it and Arsenal rue having a goalweeper

Tabloids some time have difficulty making the most of the news that presents itself in the world of football.

In the past they’ve collectively been accused of fabricating parts of a story or even the whole thing, but there’s been no need for such imaginative writing this week, as football has been awash with many intriguing tales of woe and glory and amazingly one even involved someone getting shot.

This is the week that was in headlines.

Popular opinion has suggested that Ashley Cole is an idiot. He’s a great footballer, but as a person he’s seemingly an idiot. Some people might have proclaimed this prior to him accidently shooting work experience student Tom Cowan, 21, with a .22 air rifle at Chelsea’s training ground at Cobham, but this act seems to have proved the point. Thankfully the lad wasn’t seriously hurt and the Daily Mirror felt it was safe to create an amusing and also damning headline of the whole incident.

Arsenal’s tortuous search for a trophy is to continue having managed to calamitously gift Birmingham a late winner in the final of the Other Cup on Sunday. The defensive pairing of Laurent Koscielny and Wojeich Sczzzzzzzzzzzzny fell asleep at the back and collided to give Obafemi Martins the winning goal and in the process scarring the Gunners image of exponents of top class and efficient sexy football, less than a week after beating Barcelona at home. Tears were shed by both guilty parties, but it was the young keeper who felt the ramifications of the mistake hardest according to The Sun.

Birmingham’s defeat was a surprise to many, who were unable to see Arsenal’s big game experience and silky football come under serious attack from a team struggling at the wrong end of the table. Amazingly Birmingham ended the game as deserving winners in a match they were also denied a clear penalty, in what was a truly special performance, something which the Daily Mirror recognised.

Much was made of Arsenal’s best chance at silverware against comparatively lowly Birmingham in the press. Opinion seemed to be united that Arsene Wenger’s team were once again out-muscled and failed to react to the physical and tactical aggression of the game. The London Evening Standard and in particular Dan Jones echoed this sentiment, whilst also optimistically looking ahead to the remainder of the season, but he did issue an amusingly alliterative warning about the possible consequences of the defeat.

Wayne Rooney has had an extremely quiet season by his standards, as he’s only managed eight goals so far in all competitions, less than half that of team mate and strike-partner Dimitar Berbatov. The hitman propelled himself back to the attention of the tabloids on Saturday though by appearing to purposefully smash Wigan’s James McCarthy across the face with his forearm. There’s nothing wrong with that though according to the FA and The Sun gleefully acknowledged what a lucky escape the England striker has had.

Chelsea have had a torrid season and before Wednesday’s clash with United they were 15 points off top spot. The double winners though managed to rediscover old form which won them the double last season and just in time for their match against the current table toppers United. They were helped by referee Martin Atkinson according to Alex Ferguson, but goals from David Luiz and a penalty from Frank Lampard were the real reason. The Sun though shared Ferguson’s scepticism and seemed to feel there was magical work at play.

Tags: Arsenal, Birmingham City, Chelsea, Manchester United, Premier League