Week in headlines: Tottenham star is Daddy Wrong Legs, bemused Fulham fans told to Beat It and Wayne Rooney is unpopular

Some things can be expected in football. For example, footballers will make mistakes in the heat of a game, as well as when driving their hideously fast, flash and expensive cars and managers will occasionally accuse the referee of being biased.

Incidents similar to these have cropped up this weekend, but surely no one would have predicted that Michael Jackson would somehow squirm his way into a football debate and the tabloids handled the matter in the only way they know how.

This is the week that was in headlines.

Football and music rarely mix with any great effect and some might say evidence of this standing outside Fulham’s Craven Cottage. Chairman Mohammad Al Fayed was clearly a fan and also a friend of the deceased King of Pop, but his decision to erect a statue outside Fulham’s ground of someone who has only ever been to one game, has probably befuddled fans. Al Fayed responded to these voices of confusion rationally by saying: “If some stupid fans don’t understand and appreciate such a gift this guy gave to the world they can go to hell. I don’t want them to be fans.

“If they don’t understand and don’t believe in things I believe in they can go to Chelsea, they can go to anywhere else,” he said whilst simultaneously kicking the heart out of the club and replacing it with the X-Factor logo. Alternatively he could have done as The Metro suggested and told them to Beat It.

He may be Arsenal’s inspirational captain and an example to many of how the game can be played, but this doesn’t transfer in his ability to drive a very powerful sports car around urban roads. Once The Sun swiftly established that no one was hurt in the incident they delighted in bastardising the Spaniards name for the benefit of a headline. It must have been the headline writer’s birthday and he was clearly indulged on his special day, as it was deemed important to highlight him getting a taxi to training and the debris of the crash – labelled as Cabregas (right) and Debrigas respectively.

Tottenham have enjoyed an exceptional season in the Champions League and they’ve been involved in a series of wonderfully entertaining matches, but it all seems to be at an end after a 4-0 first leg defeat in Madrid. Their cause wasn’t helped by the dismissal of Peter Crouch after 15 minutes, who during his career has been much maligned for his extremely ungainly figure. Like a playground bully The Sun brutally exposed Crouch’s failings and like an immature schoolboy I secretly and shamefully smiled at the jibe.

The fine and two game suspension imposed on Wayne Rooney for his expletive outburst at a TV camera after scoring his third against West Ham at the weekend, has caused much debate. The Evening Standard’s James Olley disagreed with the verdict, but agreed with Harry Redknapp’s summation that he’s a “silly boy.” However he continued to say that the game is rife with foul language and many others have gone unpunished before and instead greater attention should be paid to tackling the lack of respect that referees receive. The tone was lightened though by a fucking good play on words in the headline.

Wayne Rooney scored the match winner in United’s Champions League game with Chelsea on Wednesday to help lift his mood; however another piece of bad news was just around the corner. On the same day it was announced that his £600,000 per year deal with Coca-Cola had been terminated and the Daily Mirror gleefully pointed out that the popularity of the Rooney brand has lost its fizz over the past year, after a series of tabloid-feeding indiscretions.

No. The Evening Standard tempts fate.

Everyone maks splelling mistkes, but when you’re a headlne wrter your erorrs are magnifeid and easi to spot. Unfortunatly for Colin Young, his woopsi was lft unoticed, until it was corectd the flollowng day. It cud hav bean worse tho. At leest it was’nt anothr one of those Daily Mail stories abowt them pesky imigrants.

Tags: Arsenal, Fulham, Manchester United, Mohammad Al Fayed , Premier League, Tottenham Hotspur