Celebrities at football matches are common and usually they’re found in the rarefied atmosphere of the expensive seats and in the warmth of the executive box sipping champagne, eating canapés and laughing with some fella in a suit. This is particularly common at clubs of wealth such as Manchester United, where in the past Tom Crusie and Gordon Ramsey have been seen enjoying the plushness of Old Trafford, but the guests of Booby Charlton for United’s game against Arsenal weren’t actors, chefs or even rock stars like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but instead they were the unfortunate Chilean miners. To ensure that they held their own against the backdrop of celebrity guests The Sun gave them an inventive collective name. They left the game early though as they didn’t want to get stuck in the ground.

Having made the switch from Manchester City to Villa in the summer, many expected Stephen Ireland to flourish in a squad that doesn’t boast as many star players on gargantuan wage packets. Instead though he has mainly been limited to substitute appearances and has yet to recreate the form that saw him awarded the honour of being City’s player of the year for the 2008/09 season. Such is his desperation to return to Premier League action that he considering calling in help from the boys from Thunderbird island, International Rescue, according to the ClubCall website. Either that or he’s considering resurrecting his international career. F.A.B.

Big Sam Allardyce has realized some momentous ambitions in his career and taking Bolton into the UEFA Cup and once eating two lunches at a corporate event must rank amongst the best. This week then will certainly be a low as he was sacked by the ambitious owners of Blackburn Rovers. With his former side sitting comfortably in 13th in the league and with the team beginning to play at their bull-in-china-shop best he must have thought his position was secure. The tabloids were their usual sympathetic self in reacting to the news, although The Sun’s revelation about how he treats his women is probably a little too invasive, either that it or it was intended to describe the meek performance that led to his dismissal. Whichever way it’s offensive.

A vacant managerial position at a Premier League club is a fantastic excuse for the tabloids to outrageously speculate on the departed man’s potential successor, often with very little or even no evidence to back up their claims. Hidden behind the safety of a “source at the club” the red tops have targeted Maradona as the most likely candidate to take the post as he’s allegedly fancied by the clubs chicken fillet producing owners. It would be an unbelievable coup if he did sign on the dotted line and the Daily Mirror are right in the their exclamation, as it would be clucking amazing if he did decide that beautiful Blackburn was to be the platform from which the world renowned star would launch his managerial career in England.

Carlos Tevez’s football career could grace the streets of any of the nations much loved trashy soaps, as during his time in this country he has been the centre of scandal and drama on numerous occasions. At West Ham he was the passenger in an irregular transfer and then he moved to United before deciding to play Judas and jump ship to fierce local rivals City. Now though he has apparently had enough of life in the lap of ridiculous wealth and wants out, prompting the tabloids to print numerous pictures of him sulking in the back of cars. If the adage that if you don’t laugh you’ll cry is true though, The Sun have surely helped to lighten the strikers mood with delicious word-play.