Week in headlines: Torres not very good, Arsenal kick-Arsh! And Spurs stun Milanimals

Cue the inspirational music. This week’s football has been dominated by the return of the Champions League and if ITV ever needed any excuse to ramp up the hype, the competition has now reached the knockout stage.

England was represented by North London this week and both Tottenham and Arsenal faced difficult ties against elder statesmen of European competition in the form of AC Milan and Barcelona respectively.

Two excellent performances resulted in impressive victories for the English teams and caused the tabloids to break out in a series of pun based celebrations.

This is the week that was in headlines.

Tottenham’s performance against Milan on Tuesday emphasised their ascent from mid-table Premier League perennials to European big boys. Their measured display was rewarded with a late Peter Crouch goal, although much of the tabloids back pages focused on Rino Gattuso’s tête-à-tête with Joe Jordan after the match. The Sun was so stimulated by this incident that they devoted two puns to it.

Tottenham’s rise has been largely down to manager Harry Redknapp, who has steered the club from the relegation zone upon his arrival (not sure if he’s ever mentioned that before) to the comfortable heights of the Champions League. Having been labelled as a manager of lesser clubs, famed for avoiding certain relegation, many including me were sceptical as to whether he’d succeed at a big club, but Tuesday night’s game and Spurs continued good form this season suggests that he is. The Guardian’s tea-time email The Fiver was similarly sceptical about his abilities as a European master tactician, particularly after saying “We’ll ‘ave a right go. Shutting up shop? It’s a non-startah.” A purposefully naive tactical masterstroke? He could be on his way to joining that list.

The result provoked a similarly emotional result in Italy. As veterans of the competition and three time winners of it since its rebranding, Milan aren’t used to suffering home defeats, particularly against Champions League newbies such as Spurs. The press reacted with a sense of acceptance though, hinting that Milan’s time as giants could be passing and the Gazzetta dello Sport pointed to the influence that Spurs big man had on the game by stating ‘Cr-OUCH that hurt’.

Not to be outdone by their North London neighbours, Arsenal pulled off a similarly impressive result against Barcelona. Having gone behind to a first half David Villa goal, Arsenal fought back thanks to two late strikes from Robin van Persie and Andrei Arshavin. The victory was a close call for the Gunners according the Daily Mirror, who appeared to be on the end of another Barca defeat after 80 minutes and despite any insinuation the headline isn’t a tie-in with Gillette’s new razor.

The Sun was equally emphatic in their delight at Arsenal’s win and there was certainly no doubt surrounding any double meaning in this headline, as there was in the Mirror. Super sub Arshavin gave his team a vital victory and the upper hand in the two legged battle as the Russian helped Arsenal kick some Catalan arse. It sounds much better if read in the style of a bad Sean Connery impersonator.

Not everyone had a pleasurable week though, despite the success of English clubs in Europe, as Fernando Torres continued his torrid season and difficult start to life with Chelsea. Never one to offer a sympathetic hug, The Sun was brutal in its appraisal of his performance against Fulham on Monday night and they boldly brandished their feelings across the back page of the paper.

Amazingly domestic was played in England this week, although you had to delve deep into the sports section to find any trace of it. Seemingly though fans of Wigan and Bolton were also unaware that domestic football was on the menu, as only 7,515 supporters turned out to watch the Cup replay. In a match apparently light on incident and entertainment, The Sun decided the most interesting aspect of the game was the lack of attendance.

Tags: Arsenal, Chelsea, Premier League, Tottenham Hotspur