What? The singer? The signing of the American singer-songwriter would be a surprise for Liverpool fans who certainly would Feel The Earth Move if she was brought into lead the line. Seemingly desperate for their chosen headline to fit the space provided, The Sun decided that the ambiguity and general nonsensical order of it all didn’t really matter. Without any knowledge of the move, or of actual signing Andy Carroll, readers could be forgiven for thinking that Kenny Dalglish had signed a singing supremo with a penchant for Christmas songs. Just as The Sun told you.

Sometimes because of sheer laziness I can’t be bothered with including prepositions in my speech and thankfully neither can The Sun and why not? Clearly the tabloid is so excited about the news that Torres has signed for Chelsea that they stuck it on their front page and just hurriedly blurted out their delight. Thankfully for them the lack of a preposition has made for a clever play on words.

With all around them marvelling at the amount of money that had been spent on transfer deadline day, the Guardian’s tea-time (ish) email The Fiver glanced a more cynical eye over the previous evenings events and they were clearly not impressed with the amount of money that had been spent, in particular that offered in exchange for Andy Carroll. They calculated that the £35m fee was equivalent to over £1m per league goal he’s ever scored and compared his strike rate to last week’s next-big-thing Amir Zaki. With players emerging from the dark of the reserves to command moves elsewhere, it felt a bit like a last gasp shopping spree on Christmas Eve according to Sean Ingle.

With millions of £££ behind them and a wealth of talent at their disposal, Manchester City were earmarked as serious title challengersthis season, as well as contenders for both cups. Already out of the Other Cup, City had been expect to brush past League One strugglers Notts County with relative ease, but they found life tough going at the County Ground, even with a team of international stars on display. They had to rely on an Edin Dzeko header ten minutes from time just to keep them in the competition, which as The Sun pointed out saved them from what could have been an embarrassing fall.

Wayne Rooney isn’t a man known for his fidelity, so when a headline like this appears in The Sun, you could be forgiven for thinking that he’s returned to his Granny loving ways. Despite the sexual implication, the headline is actually a reference to Rooney’s request for United winger Nani to keep supplying crosses to help continue his goal run that he started against Villa. Either way though, Rooney will undoubtedly be licking his lips in anticipation.

Finally someone associated with former Sky Sports presenter Richard Keys has said something intelligent and it was his mother. Unfortunately though, this astute observation was made in amongst yet more ignorant comments when Mrs Keys said that assistant referee Sian Massey should have “laughed off the jibes instead of remaining silent”. The Sun has been towing this story around for a couple of weeks now, but the tabloid must at least be applauded for including the comments about the shouty mouth misogynist Andy Gray.